First Awakening
by Thata
Summary: Set at the beginning of Breaking Dawn, some days before the wedding! Bella had an accident and is at the hospital, but she can't remember her previous life, not even Edward or Jake! Will she try to get her memories back or go on with a new life?
1. First Awakening

**Hi There!!!**

**I'm new at this, so don't be so hard… =P**

**The main idea for this story wasn't mine, I read a great fic from ****Alice Danielle****, called "****Remember Me" (****see in my Favorites), and couldn't help myself from thinking about that rich plot… so I made my own version of it.**

**I don't wanna make anyone sad or copy concepts, but I couldn't stop writing. You must read the original version though.**

**Special thanks to my great friend and beta, Mikky (who also introduced me to fanfics world), and my lovely little bro Deco! They had the patience to read this first and give me some tips!!!**

**Hope you like it!**

**Please, review!!!**

**Kisses ^-^**

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_**(Bella's POV)**_

**Chapter 1**

**First Awakening**

I opened my eyes but couldn't see much because of the blurred vision, it seemed like I was waking up from a long and distant dream I couldn't recall. I only felt my head aching. I raised one of my hands to my head, to try to understand what was going on, and only met a huge bandage all over. Something might have happened! My other hand was too cold, like it was dead, and then I realized it wasn't exactly my hand, but something hard and strange around it.

I blinked my eyes, trying to focus on something. After some seconds I saw a white ceiling, not too high, in a white and peaceful room. It seemed to be a hospital. As I looked around, I noticed a small crowd staring at me, strange people with worried and concerned expressions.

I felt confused and ashamed, I didn't know them… I didn't even know why I was there. What have happened? Have I done something wrong? Why are they here? Who are they?

More questions than I could bear popped up into my head, and now the pain I felt was like hell. I screamed and that was enough for all of them to start talking around my bed. For an instant, it was like a buzzing of disconnected voices that only made my head ache more and more. But I could hear a calm and respectful tone asking them to be quiet and give me some space.

After breathing a little I was feeling a bit better. I looked at my other hand now, the cold one, and noticed someone was holding it. I followed the hard and icy arm until finding out that I was staring at amazing golden topaz eyes. They were too intense to be true, almost suffocating me with feelings I couldn't even understand besides pain and worry.

"Hi!" I blinked and realized that besides me there was a boy, almost like a Michelangelo's David sculpture, with bronze hair and wide eyes, analyzing me. I remained quiet… what should I say?

Glaring at the others I saw more six people like him, the same pale skin and unique eye color. Next to the boy, stand a tall blond man with serene face wearing a white and pristine doctor uniform. Behind them, a small and graceful friendly girl with short spiky deep black hair holding hands with a honey-blond tall guy who seemed a little awkward in the room. In front of my bed, was a caramel-colored hair woman stood with a gentle smile, and at her side next the wall, there were other two people. Another couple, I assumed, a tall and muscular curly-dark-haired boy with a goofy face and a stunning blond observant beauty.

On the other side of my bed, close to me, a native-American strong and gentle guy who seemed to be older than myself. He stared at my face almost the same way the bronze-haired one did, with an intense gaze. The two last people seemed more normal, a curly-short-haired man dressed like a cop and a slim woman that seemed to have cried a lot in the last hours, or days.

"Hmm…. You are a doctor, right?!" I tried to say loud enough for the blond man to hear, but it seemed just a whisper coming out of my mouth. They all looked surprised and confuse after my statement. "How long I have been here? This is a hospital, isn't it?! Why…," I couldn't finish. How could I ask who all these people were, and why they were here?

He glimpsed at the boy holding my hand for a second and beamed at me with gentle eyes, as what he was about to say was obvious. "Yes, Bella, you are at the hospital. It's been two days since the accident. The exams show you are fine, but you still need to rest your head. You hit it very hard this time, and at the same place of your last incident two years ago, in Phoenix."

"Oh… I see…" Bella?! Is that something I was supposed to recognize? Phoenix?! Last accident?! How many times have I hit my head? "Doctor, can I talk to you in private, please?" My voice was almost begging for the rest of them to leave. They seemed nice, but I didn't want strangers in my room.

"Of course", He waited until we were alone, the only one who seemed to want to stay was the bronze-haired boy however, after a while he did what I had asked as well.

"Doctor, I don't want to be rude or something, but…" I breathed deeply, trying to draw some courage. "Who are these people? Why they are here? What is this Bella? Who is she?" I took another breath, resting my pounding head on the pillow. "I am sorry, but it's so confusing… there are so many questions… they make my head hurt…"

I caught him by surprise, I could tell. He analyzed me with a glare, searched through a folder with some hospital papers, maybe exams, and sighed, sitting on a chair next to my bed. "What can you remember about yourself?" His voice was patient and encouraging.

I closed my eyes and tried to call something… anything back to my mind. Blank. "Nothing!" I was talking more to myself than to him. It was like, for the first time, I have realized that I had nothing in my life; in fact, it looked like I hadn't even had a life before this moment! I didn't have a name, a place to go, or a hope besides this damp room. I felt a warm drop falling down my face, I think I might be crying now.

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I have 3 more chapters ready to go (ok, almost, they just need some final adjusts!), so, until I can publish them, tell me what you think about this one!**

**Next chap.: Edward's POV!!!**

**Lots of Kisses ^_^**


	2. My Worst Nightmare

**Hi again!!!**

**Thanks for the reviews! I really enjoyed them (and the PMs) and will try my best to be a better writer for you all (and, obviously, for myself too)!!!**

**I am kindda perfectionist, so I need to explain some things first!!!**

**I love big paragraphs! I think you can't just finish until you reach the main point, each paragraph should represent an idea, and moving to the next means that you have finished that thought. It's just the way I write, it's my style… At least I don't try to follow the way Saramago's narrative* is set, though. =)**

**I'm really researching a lot (twilight books, extras and outtakes, psychology books and websites and medicine websites) to fit into the plot and characters (or, at least, trying to)! Believe me or not, I'm even using everything I have learned from my master's degree in psychoanalysis to fit into the whole situation. Try to imagine yourselves into a hospital with no single clue of who you are… It's just unbearable!**

**As I said in the last chap.: I wrote the first 4 chapters in 2 days. After that I felt there was still so much to do, so I tried to create a dialog between chaps 2 and 3, a symbiosis. Each of the forthcoming parts elucidates a new view about the facts already set, and continue the story from that point.**

**Once more I need to thank my beloved Deco, who just can't bear hearing me talking 'bout Twilight anymore, and my friend, beta and adviser, Mikky (who almost wrote half of this chapter with amazing changes on my first original!)!!! =D**

**Reviews are truly welcome, please!!! \o/**

**Kisses ^-^**

***(For those who aren't very familiar with the Portuguese Nobel-laureate's books: José Saramago just doesn't bother using such things like dots or quotation marks. LOL =P … Ok, I know… who the hell am I to try to follow such a great writer's unique and revolutionary style! Anyway, if you can, read his books, they'll change the way you see the world!)**

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**Precious  
**_(Depeche Mode)_

_Precious and fragile things  
Need special handling  
My God, what have we done to you?_

_We always tried to share  
The tenderest of care  
Now look what we have put you through._

_(...)_

_Angels with silver wings  
Shouldn't know suffering  
I wish I could take the pain for you._

_If God has a masterplan  
That only he understands  
I hope it's your eyes he's seeing through.  
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**(Edward's POV)**

**Chapter 2**

**My Worst Nightmare**

This was the second day since the accident and Bella didn't seem to wake up. Carlisle had told me, as many times I asked, or even thought, that Bella was fine, at least physically. He had done all the exams possible and checked on her every five minutes; however I still couldn't even give any space at the mere thought of leaving her side or stop worrying. How hadn't I seen that coming?!

The destiny was indeed laughing at us, toying with the same story we told her parents, and the entire town, about how she fell down the stairs in Phoenix a couple of years ago. Surely it looked plausible, at that time, that a trivial and stupid thing as falling down the stairs would fit Bella's clumsy manners. Only fate had, once more, exploited the frail nature of, not only our uncommon relationship, but as well as her human condition. Charlie had left early for fishing; she had just woken up and I was in her room, waiting for her "human moment", when I heard a strong and towering sequence of loud thumps echoing from where I knew the stairs were.

Without thinking twice, I removed myself from the sitting position I had sustained for since she'd left and ran in an impossible speed for humans, reaching her unconscious fragile body at the bottom of the stairs, next to the living-room. At the same time my phone rang and the next thing I knew, I was driving like crazy to the hospital to meet my family there.

Apparently, Jacob Black had been on his way back to Forks, to attend to the wedding party as a surprise for Bella, and had gotten his stinky paws at the hospital as soon as he heard the news. I knew Billy and Seth were responsible for that. Renée had also arrived that night and hadn't stopped crying since.

Now I couldn't help myself by thinking that, in less than three days, we were supposed to meet at the altar and finally get married… and here I was, glancing over the body of who became the entire reason of my mere existence, lying on a hospital bed. I hadn't being capable of assuring her safety even for that insignificant amount of time…

Time insisted on torturing me, not only by passing unbelievably slow or for the excruciating longing to see her awake, but also for all those inconvenient dog thoughts I have been forced to block, for not ripping the mongrel's head off. Since we have gotten here, each one at a time, the two of us vehemently refused to leave Bella's side. Silence had been our only company besides the beeping of the machinery attached to my still unconscious fiancée.

As usual, Jacob and I were alone with Bella, while my family and her parents remained in the next room. Suddenly, the noisy electrocardiograph went crazy; her fragile heart started beating fast, too fast, as she was becoming conscious again. Carlisle was the first to enter the door, followed by eight other pairs of hopefully eyes, who stared at her around the bed.

She looked numb, at first, and didn't quite focus on anything; the room's occupants were deadly quiet waiting for a reaction. I reached her left side, controlling the urge to get faster and held her hand between mine. Gazing at her passionately, I blew a gentle soft kiss at the back of her hand, which she didn't seem to notice.

All I could think was how glad I was to see she had regained conscience and, as everyone in the room, I waited for a reaction of her still figure. After an entire long minute she kept looking around, confused, with a painful expression. Her beautiful features gracefully contorted in what looked like suffering, the ache seemed to intensify every second, until she screamed in a fainted voice.

My heart would thunder at an incredible and alarming beating if it could beat at all, after hearing her cry. "Bella, love, what's wrong?" I told her as calm as I could muster and then, trying not to sweep the urgency I felt to my now unstable voice, I called my father. "Carlisle!" I was desperate; I had checked all the exams, even though I wasn't as expert as Carlisle, they had appeared normal to me. What could it be this time?

"Bella!" her parents screamed almost at the same time.

_What the hell?!_ Jacob didn't utter a word, but his thought screamed loudly. He was too furious, trying to control his anger and perplexity. _What have this stupid leech done to her this time? The doctor had assured us many times that there was no need to worry about…_

"She is going to be fine, isn't she?" My mother was as worried as Renée, as if Bella was her own beloved daughter. Since I had first realized I had fallen in love with Bella, Esme seemed to be happier; I was aware of the entire change in my behavior, and how existence turned somehow easier for those who lived with me. My mother knew that she would never have to worry about a separated family anymore.

"Calm down, son, she is just confused, she is fine. I think she just needs to be quiet for a while" Carlisle explained in a serene tone, as I felt Jasper spread some comforting waves. These days had been very hard for him too, most of all because of me.

She breathed deeply and looked at my hands holding hers. Slowly, her eyes met mine, those chocolate magic eyes I loved so much. "Hi!" Was everything I managed to say. I wanted to tell her how sorry and how happy I was that she had finally woken up. I urged to kiss and hug her tight, but it wasn't what her eyes reflected to me. I didn't see the same happiness in her face.

She must be mad at me! I knew I have promised to protect her, to keep her safe, and even that I could not do. What would I do if I lose her love? Bella stared at each and everyone of us for a long minute, awkwardly. It was almost as she was studying our faces, taking in every detail she could see, picturing them. The silence that spread through the room was unnerving and the tension being held there was absurdly tangible.

"Hmm…. You are a doctor, right?!" She said measuring my father, unsure of what to say. I've never seen Bella so confused… What was happening? It seemed she was struggling to get the right words out. Nobody spoke, not even a single thought disturbed her concentration to formulate a phrase. I gasped silently at her queasy voice when she uttered carefully. "How long I have been here? This is a hospital, isn't it?! Why…" But then she stopped, her sentence broken, her certainty at what she'd been speaking vanishing. She seemed confused, biting her lovely lower lip. It couldn't be…

I froze at my own thought. A million and one things passed through my mind while I tried to figure out what she was thinking. I heard my father's peaceful thought voice directed at me. _Edward, son, calm down._ Sometimes, it seemed Carlisle was more concerned about me than with his own patient, although I knew he worried the same about the two of us. I blinked wordlessly at him. His calm look left mine as his stare met Bella's. His calm voice reached his lips and filled the silence of the room. "Yes, Bella, you are at the hospital. It's been two days since the accident. The exams show you are fine, but you still need to rest your head. You hit it very hard this time, and at the same place of your last incident two years ago, in Phoenix."

"Oh… I see…" She was looking down now, staring at her blanket as trying to reorganize her thoughts, taking deep breaths. I studied her face, seeking for a sign of what to expect, but, once more I felt powerless. "Doctor, can I talk to you in private, please?" She wasn't asking, in fact she almost begged to be alone, Bella needed her space. The pain and annoying disturbance had never been so crystal clear on my fiancée's countenance; obviously she would prefer them to leave for a moment.

"Of course", Carlisle assured her in a calm voice. He waited until we had been left alone in the room, just the three of us, and looked at me with a serene faded smile, the way he usually did when expected me to do something hard. All at once, I realized that my beloved one didn't want me near her either, and my father was also asking me to leave her side! _Edward, it's just for a moment, maybe it's better if you wait outside too._

I was still in shock when I walked out to the hallway and closed the door behind me. I took a deep breath as if I needed air again, as if my lungs could even work in a natural way… maybe that was the feeling of faint humans had, the dizziness. I leant my back against the wall and faced the floor, closing my eyes and pressing my fingers against them. I could hear and feel the stillness of my family and Bella's parents when I left, it was the very first time in two days I was out that door.

"Doctor, I don't want to be rude or anything, but…" I could see it through Carlisle's mind. My Bella was disoriented, but why? Clearly, she had something hard to say. Didn't she want to see me anymore? Didn't she love me still? I knew it was my fault! "Who are these people? Why they are here? What is this Bella? Who is she?" her words broke my thoughts harshly. Not to mention my nerves. I surely would cry if it was possible at that moment. I felt a damp and empty hole starting to creep inside my chest.

I opened my eyes and saw the same expression of disbelief and shock at my brothers and Esme's face. Even Jacob seemed to have lost his ground. Since the day Bella had moved in to Forks I had been forced to prepare myself for every single disaster that could take place near her, however not even in my worst nightmare I would be expecting that.

"I am sorry, but it's so confusing… there are so many questions… they make my head hurt…" She was frightened but bravely calm… at least I knew that kind of reaction. It was so typical of Bella, she had always put herself at the bottom caring for others first. Despite that little sparkle of hope, on which I tried to fool myself for a moment, I felt my entire world being taken away from me.

_I was afraid something like this could happen… The area she'd hit her head was still too fragile._ Carlisle was analyzing some exams and notes in her folder while thinking of some theories of what might have caused that. I was sure my father was using all his amazing control to act calm and hide his thoughts. "What can you remember about yourself?"

I knew my beloved one was trying hard. Bella remained in silence for an unbearable amount of time and, once again, we all waited to hear a sign of hope, without even breathing. "Nothing!" I saw pain and tears in her face through Carlisle's eyes; it was the worst day in my entire existence. I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore, I wished I were able to cry… my mind, my body, every part of me went completely numb. Tears would certainly follow her statement if only I were human… But I wasn't. My throat tightened to such a point, I wasn't able to make any noise. Not a whisper, not a whimper - or just a single scream! She forgot everything… her life… her parents… Bella had forgotten me! My fiancée didn't remember me at all! No! It couldn't be! Carlisle said… he assured me she would be fine!

I wanted to walk in that room, hug her, kiss her and tell she would recover her precious memories. I needed to know she would, my entire existence depended on that! I lost myself on my thoughts, on my memories, our memories… I would die if that could show her everything: our first kiss, the first time I drove her to school, when I touched her heavenly silk skin, the night she asked me to stay, when she accepted to marry me, our days in the meadow…

_Edward… Edward… Edward! Bro, please, control yourself!_ Emmet didn't seem to be the only one in my family to try to get my attention. _You're a mess!_ Through his eyes I saw my panicked expression: my eyes were wide open, my hand on the knob, ready to break into the room again and hug her tight. _Ease up on Jasper, too. It's being as hard for him as it's being for you, you know…_

My brother was right; I had to force myself away from that room, at least for a while. Once again I took a deep breath and walked to the opposite wall, laying my back against it and gazing the hallway's ceiling. Jasper was trying to calm everybody again, including Bella, since she has stopped crying. I felt numb.

Carlisle called some nurses to bring another bed, he would have some other exams done. They took a while to appear pushing another wheeled bed and entered Bella's room silently. As the nurses passed through the door conducing my beloved one, my father stopped to quickly explain to Charlie and Renée that Bella had presented amnesia as a side-effect of her recidivous head-trauma, and he had to repeat the Magnetic Resonance Imaging. My father followed after her bed, still absorbed on his theories.

"It usually takes some time, Renée. Maybe it's better if we eat something." Esme invited, breaking the silence, just after her husband left to meet Bella at the MRI room. My mother was being the comforting one now; as usual, her compassion managed to make everyone around feel better.

"Ok, it won't help if we stay here, anyway." Charlie agreed, tired, following his ex-wife, my mother, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet to the cafeteria. It was evident that Rose was irritated, and Em wouldn't let her go alone with them, here was no fun for him, anyway. Jasper, for once, was decided to go without Alice; I figured it had been too much for him.

"I'm not hungry, go ahead, I'll eat latter", Jake lied. _There's no way I'm going to leave this room until she's back! I have to see her, to know the outcome!_ The dog had been as worried as I was, I couldn't deny the love he also felt for my Bella, the sacrifices he was doing for her. Jacob have barely eaten or slept these days, since he had first walked in the hospital; he have been desperately trying to surpass his body's limits just to stay by her site or be awake, in case she became conscious again.

"I'll stay too", Alice said with a little smile. She knew how much I needed her now. In a strange way, as I gazed at my sister, I reminded of how she had told us that she already loved Bella, even before meeting her, or before I realized I had been desperately in love with my wife-to-be for a long time. As they turned the corner we were back in the room. "It won't help if the dog stays… I can't see a thing with Jacob here!"

"Too bad for you, shortie. Try to see something else then!" Jacob was harsh… as he's been on the edge for days. It looked like he would explode any time. This wasn't his first outburst, but his temper… it was the worst it had been. Even with the control he showed, his already instable mood had been shifting too fast since Bella had woken up. I've been trying to block his mind since he had gotten here, but sometimes, like this particular moment, when he screamed it was worse… and not helping at all.

"Thanks, Alice. I know you'll try your best." I soothed my sister, trying not to worsen things at the moment. Despite knowing the werewolf wouldn't listen to me, I had to try... I turned to him, sighing, "Jacob, please, let Alice work. It's for Bella's own good." I had to know if my beloved one would recover from this, if she would remember me, if she would still feel the same! His eyes were closed and Jacob was holding his shaking hands, trying desperately to calm down. I couldn't ask more of him, I was sure he would do everything he could for Bella, maybe not as much as I would, but, for now, he had done enough.

Alice went out for a walk, we were all too tense. Once more, the silence remained; neither of us were thinking nor attempting to form a theory, afraid of what might come. Never have a day been so long before, I could feel that those mere 48 hours had lasted more than ninety years of my life.

Could have been minutes, and I still would feel as a lifetime, but my sister was back by my side. "The exams are ok, same result. But I can't see what comes after that. It's so frustrating… I can't see if she will be our Bella again!"

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**Oh, man, that was a long chapter!**

**Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Next chap.: Jake's POV!!!**

**Once more, please, review!**

**I would love to know what you think and how can I improve the story!**

**Lots of kisses ^-^**


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